I moved out of Fort Jesus back to my apartment last wednesday. It was a sad day. And I was surprised to be hit in the face with some hefty culture shock, I'd only moved a five minute drive away. The first night home we went out for dinner and to a new bar in Karen, a fancy part of Nairobi. I found myself feeling uncomfortable and out of place in a situation which was so normal to me in the UK. Culture shock can feel a bit like someone has pulled the carpet out from under your feet, like you return to your 'normal' life and find a big crack down the middle. I was feeling scared and asking God exactly how far away He wants to take me from where I was.
Often in the past I have felt guilty for enjoying nice and relatively expensive things while poverty kicked around in my head. This time I was angry about how some people can have relatively carefree and luxurious lives while others hustle and stress for the simplest things, but I didn't feel guilty about eating such delicious mash potato. I think what has changed is I've realised that life is essentially good wherever you are, as long as you have friends around and something to celebrate then its all gravy. Poverty is sick and wrong and people shouldn't have to live in slum conditions but those who do embrace life anyway. So while I enjoy mash potato in Karen, somewhere in Kibera a kid is enjoying teaching his little sister to touch her nose with her tongue; or a bunch of friends are cracking up hearing their friend sharing tales of the day; or a man eats some perfectly soft ugali after a hard days work; or a group of ladies sing their hearts out practicing choir for sunday.
But thats not to say its all fine the way it is and its OK for these sepatare worlds to carry on as they are, next door neighbours ignorant of each other's lives. Though the guilt has gone, injustice still stings. Some of my friends from Kibera are totally comfortable hopping between those two worlds like Paul, happy with a little and happy with a lot. I hope I'll get better at hopping too.
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
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4 comments:
That's a really beautiful reflection and perhaps a challenge we both face except perhaps in opposition.
I work in quite a middle-class area. Well compared to many countries, most of NZ is pretty middle-class. But the area I work in is particularly middle-class. Far more than I'm used to. I grew up in Cannons Creek in Porirua which is like one of the working-class capitals of NZ.
I'm positive that God's challenged me to see that there is as much pain in the middle classes as there is in the working. The hard part is moving to the fancy parts.
I hope we get better at hopping too :)
True dat. Riches can't protect you from pain, its part of human experience and God wants to get in and heal and comfort wherever He finds it.
Its cool how he challenges us to share his heart for different people, maybe people we wouldn't otherwise care much about.
I don't have to 'hop' in such an extreme way as you but find it hard to imagine the lives of some at work whose value systems are so different for a variety of reasons beyond their control. A lot of the time we are surprised by how people cope and make the most of what they have and can do and its a reminder to us to do the same!
Really thoughtful blog Em,
love you,Mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks for this Em, was going to suggest you blogged the move back. After nearly 8 years I still oscillate between "this isn't right but it's the way it is" to impassioned anger, to sadness, to "God you are so gracious to allow me to be a tiny part of this" to joy... Like yesterday walking through Kibs and hanging out in Lindi at someone's home, God just showed me so much joy within the people, and challenged me again on any assumptions I make. Moses was at the KVC ministry leaders meeting last week where they gave us a really nice buffet and I came home so aware of the worlds he hops between and just thought "wow that takes such grace".
Love your honesty and value your blog, please keep it up. Jo xx
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