Culture Stress

Welcome to culture stress, the effect of living for a long time in a culture so different from the one that shaped you. I'm not talking about eating food I don't like, cultural differences go deep and being surrounded by people who live by a totally different set of rules to you can be really uncomfortable and really get you down. There are benefits and plenty of opportunities to grow but I'll come to those later, first I want to be grumpy for a while.

Cultural differences cause tension over things like how we put value on time or how we judge our own self-worth or position in society – by achievements or by status. There are several other areas of tension but I think the second is the one I'm struggling with at the moment.

When I meet someone new in Kenya, even just people I walk past in the street, in general all I am is a mzungu, I'm a white-skinned foreigner therefore I must be this, this and this, I must like this, dislike that and always do these things. Very rarely does anyone ask me questions to actually get to know me personally, they know it all already, and this ticks me off! I've learnt to see people as individuals, unique with their own style, talents, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, values and beliefs. I've been taught that putting stereotypes on people, making a pre-judgement is prejudice and even racist. This particular difference really makes me angry and really gets in the way of me building friendships with people. As soon as someone puts me in a box it really puts me off getting to know them! It shifts my focus onto selfishly trying to prove who I am and who I'm not rather than just getting to know and love this person who means no harm by their opinions of me, it is just the way they understand the world.

However, this tension has actually taught me some helpful things, in the UK, we reward achievements like good exam results, a good degree, working your way up the ladder. We especially respect people who have worked their way up from nothing because they must have worked especially hard. In Kenya, people are often respected more due to their status than what they have achieved. So a politician may achieve absolutely nothing, in fact he may rob the country of millions of shillings but in a meeting he would be treated with due respect according to his status. A pastor, a chief, an elder must be treated in a certain way. A visitor also should be treated in a certain way and with white skin I'm always seen as a visitor.

In Kenya, I find myself being treated a certain way not based on what I do. But I've been conditioned to want to work hard, to be seen to be achieving something and getting somewhere. I find it embarrassing to say I'm just a volunteer, just a glorified gap year kid really, I don't have a real job, I don't get paid, I don't stay up to all hours of the night stressing to get my work done. But in Kenya that doesn't matter and having friends who don't care about that has challenged me to consider why I feel that way. Through this I've learnt that I sometimes want to work hard to please others and even to please God and that's not right. That is not what He wants or what He requires, my worth is not found in my achievements or lack of. So, in this case culture stress has been a creative tension that has taught me good things.