Friday, 19 November 2010

Like.

Cool in Kinshasa. The Umbongo was clearly flowing at this shindig.


LE JOUR D'APRES / SIKU YA BAADAYE (INDEPENDANCE CHA-CHA) from BALOJI on Vimeo.

Friday, 5 November 2010

oops, i broke it

These two articles rhyme a little with my last post or at least echo some of my frustrations living in a different culture and how that can easily bring out the worst in you.

Brokenness as a bridge
Attentive to Brokennes

We had an interesting discussion in homegroup this week about how a lot of churches in the west (and probably here in Kenya too) are more about performance and good behaviour than about having honest hearts that are desperate for God and His Kingdom. Christians should be seen to be good people, you need to show that you believe in Jesus by stopping all your sin. How the heck are you meant to do that?

I like that these two articles recognise our brokenness, they do not celebrate sin but see the connections that can be made between people when we share our broken parts and the areas that need some work rather than hide them.

Saturday, 30 October 2010

Culture Stress

Welcome to culture stress, the effect of living for a long time in a culture so different from the one that shaped you. I'm not talking about eating food I don't like, cultural differences go deep and being surrounded by people who live by a totally different set of rules to you can be really uncomfortable and really get you down. There are benefits and plenty of opportunities to grow but I'll come to those later, first I want to be grumpy for a while.

Cultural differences cause tension over things like how we put value on time or how we judge our own self-worth or position in society – by achievements or by status. There are several other areas of tension but I think the second is the one I'm struggling with at the moment.

When I meet someone new in Kenya, even just people I walk past in the street, in general all I am is a mzungu, I'm a white-skinned foreigner therefore I must be this, this and this, I must like this, dislike that and always do these things. Very rarely does anyone ask me questions to actually get to know me personally, they know it all already, and this ticks me off! I've learnt to see people as individuals, unique with their own style, talents, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, values and beliefs. I've been taught that putting stereotypes on people, making a pre-judgement is prejudice and even racist. This particular difference really makes me angry and really gets in the way of me building friendships with people. As soon as someone puts me in a box it really puts me off getting to know them! It shifts my focus onto selfishly trying to prove who I am and who I'm not rather than just getting to know and love this person who means no harm by their opinions of me, it is just the way they understand the world.

However, this tension has actually taught me some helpful things, in the UK, we reward achievements like good exam results, a good degree, working your way up the ladder. We especially respect people who have worked their way up from nothing because they must have worked especially hard. In Kenya, people are often respected more due to their status than what they have achieved. So a politician may achieve absolutely nothing, in fact he may rob the country of millions of shillings but in a meeting he would be treated with due respect according to his status. A pastor, a chief, an elder must be treated in a certain way. A visitor also should be treated in a certain way and with white skin I'm always seen as a visitor.

In Kenya, I find myself being treated a certain way not based on what I do. But I've been conditioned to want to work hard, to be seen to be achieving something and getting somewhere. I find it embarrassing to say I'm just a volunteer, just a glorified gap year kid really, I don't have a real job, I don't get paid, I don't stay up to all hours of the night stressing to get my work done. But in Kenya that doesn't matter and having friends who don't care about that has challenged me to consider why I feel that way. Through this I've learnt that I sometimes want to work hard to please others and even to please God and that's not right. That is not what He wants or what He requires, my worth is not found in my achievements or lack of. So, in this case culture stress has been a creative tension that has taught me good things.

Slums of Hope

I get to take several visitors to our projects in Kibera and it is always interesting to see the different reactions people have on their first visit to the slum. Some recent visitors were surprised to find busy and bustling main streets full of people moving about with a sense of purpose – somewhere to be, something to get done. They expected a more sombre atmosphere with a greater sense of despair. All out despair is not something I have come across often in Kibera.

John Githongo said 'dignity comes before development – and thats about relationships. Therefore you may find a situation where people seem poor, who are living under challenging circumstances, but they are comfortable in their own skin. And it is in that kind of context that development, in the traditional sense, happens most easily.'

I've heard of people separating slums of despair and slums of hope, the first is home to people who have nowhere else to go, they have run out of options and run out of hope, this is their lot in life and they don't expect anything better. Slums of hope host people with dreams, people putting up with their current situation but working towards something better. I see Kibera as a slum of hope. Though there are people in Kibera for whom day to day survival takes up all their energy and tomorrow will be dealt with when it gets here. But there are also lots of people in Kibera who have a plan up their sleeve and choosing Kibera was a strategic move. For many that dream is more for their children than themselves. I have met plenty of people in Kibera who say this is what I've got, this is who I am and this is what I'm trying to do. I think this is the context that Githongo is talking about.

Though Kibera is awash with organisations offering all sorts of services with varying impact and effectiveness, looking to the people themselves I think the future could be brighter than forecast.

Friday, 15 October 2010

Word on the street

Before leaving for Canadia the Parsons left me a recorded message. A mission. To explore where we could open another TP centre in Kibera. Then the tape player blew up, knocked my cup of tea over and slightly singed the cat. Next time a piece of paper would do.

So since then Judy and I have been all over Kibera finding out the word on the street about what projects are already around and where are there lots of kids on the street or unable to attend school. It has been a really interesting process and we have met some cool and colourful people along the way.

For example Mary who has lived in Laini Saba (village in Kibera) for decades and made a mint selling changaa (illegal brew) now she owns a lot of property in the area, making money from the rent. What she doesn't know about Laini Saba is not worth knowing. She sat in a big old armchair and answered all our questions while her TV played Nigerian movies and her radio blasted Lingala music. I have no idea what she said but apparently it was helpful.

Kyalo and Hamisi from our Transition Class brought some of their friends who spend their days on the streets to answer some more questions for us. They were also from Laini Saba. The four kids gave lively accounts of stories from the streets. Kyalo couldn't stay in his seat, he had to act it all out. That day we learnt that criminals have different nicknames depending their particular flavour of crime: A Snatcher, snatches stuff from people: phones, handbags, handbags etc. A Poofer breaks into houses and gets away with whatever they can. A Hooker will grab you by the legs and shake you upside down until the money falls out your pockets! Or they just shoot you.

On the one hand we've learnt things about life in Kibera and on the streets which is really horrible but on the other hand we've met some awesome people doing some really innovative stuff to deal with the problems.

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

city takes on country, country wins

I haven't blogged in a long time, though there has been lots going on I couldn't think what to write about. Blogger's block. Anyway I read these two poems ther other day and loved them so had to share them. They go nicely together, they are about this dual life that many Kenyans live with a life in the city but a rural home.
Every school holiday people pour out of Nairobi on buses and matatus heading for their upcountry, whichever direction it is. In the past, I've enjoyed the quiet roads of a not so bustling Nairobi at these times, but this year I got a chance to head upcountry too. Escaping city stress to quiet tree-covered hills is pretty sweet, welcomed by family with hot tea and warm hugs, basking on rocks in the sun, I started to understand a little why people love their upcountry homes and take any chance they get to go back. The first poem communicates the feeling better than I could. The second poem is not so nice, looking at someone making the first choice to move to the city, its sad but good, it has a fair bit of swahili in and I can't translate all of it but you get the gist! The poems are from www.kenyanpoet.blogspot.com
The return to home by joseph maina

From the noisy, polluted
City i
Hit the country road,
On a crowded old Toyota van,
Its dusty, rugged and bumpy.
Goats, chicken, ducks are
Also passengers,
I hang on to the vehicle frame
While my feet rest on a small
Metal bar
At outside and bottom of the
Vehicles door,
The friendliness of the people
Make me love to be home.

On the luggage I have,
My mother’s favorite kanga,
My father’s favorite cigarette,
My siblings’ favorite sweets
And balloons
And wheat flour for chapati
Their favorite dish
though a laborer in the city
I try to make them proud
Of their son.

The fresh air
The cool breeze
The friendliness of the people
The stories of my father
The adventure of my siblings
The caring of my mother and her meals
Their interest and eager in my city stories
The local brew
The village dance nights
The whistling of the birds
The bathing in rivers
The herding of cattle
The variety of food
Make me want to forget
City life.
All rights Reserved to the poet © joseph maina
........................................................................

Promize by Simon Mbuthia

My dear, mpenzi
Amka, wake up
For the time has come
Ni wakati wa kuondoka
I hope you’ll understand
Na watoto pia
Teach them to forgive
Their father
Waambie, tell them
That I had to go.

Tell them of my dreams
The places I’ve yearned for
Natumaini they’ll understand
And coax
Their little souls
Kunisamehe tafadhali.

Especially yule mtoto
The little inquisitive one
I know she’ll ask
Maswali chungu nzima
Tell her I’ve gone to the city
Kutafuta unga
And she shouldn’t be silly
Tell her machozi
Will not help anything
Nitamletea viatu vya ngozi.

Tell the children
Not to be fools
That waende shule
They should go to school
Not to follow the footsteps
Of their fugitive father
And tell them
When they make
Their imploring bed-side prayers
Wamuombee daddy
Wherever he is
In the atrocious world.

And don’t forget
To tell them this
Katika ndoto zao
To include me in their dreams
And hope always
That I’ll come one day
Siku moja nitarudi
To show them
My old grey beard.

My dear, mpenzi
Amka, wake up
And open the door
Before their rumbling stomachs
Like ngurumo za radi
Wakes them up and
They stretch their scrawny hands
And demand chakula
And torture my soul
Kuumiza roho yangu
With their empty gazes
Wake up fast
For it’s time to go
Ni wakati wa kuondoka.

All rights Reserved to the poet ©Simon Mbuthia

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Nyumba yangu

Here is where I stayed in Fort Jesus and some of my friendly neighbours

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Wet Fish

I moved out of Fort Jesus back to my apartment last wednesday. It was a sad day. And I was surprised to be hit in the face with some hefty culture shock, I'd only moved a five minute drive away. The first night home we went out for dinner and to a new bar in Karen, a fancy part of Nairobi. I found myself feeling uncomfortable and out of place in a situation which was so normal to me in the UK. Culture shock can feel a bit like someone has pulled the carpet out from under your feet, like you return to your 'normal' life and find a big crack down the middle. I was feeling scared and asking God exactly how far away He wants to take me from where I was.


Often in the past I have felt guilty for enjoying nice and relatively expensive things while poverty kicked around in my head. This time I was angry about how some people can have relatively carefree and luxurious lives while others hustle and stress for the simplest things, but I didn't feel guilty about eating such delicious mash potato. I think what has changed is I've realised that life is essentially good wherever you are, as long as you have friends around and something to celebrate then its all gravy. Poverty is sick and wrong and people shouldn't have to live in slum conditions but those who do embrace life anyway. So while I enjoy mash potato in Karen, somewhere in Kibera a kid is enjoying teaching his little sister to touch her nose with her tongue; or a bunch of friends are cracking up hearing their friend sharing tales of the day; or a man eats some perfectly soft ugali after a hard days work; or a group of ladies sing their hearts out practicing choir for sunday.

But thats not to say its all fine the way it is and its OK for these sepatare worlds to carry on as they are, next door neighbours ignorant of each other's lives. Though the guilt has gone, injustice still stings. Some of my friends from Kibera are totally comfortable hopping between those two worlds like Paul, happy with a little and happy with a lot. I hope I'll get better at hopping too.

Friday, 4 June 2010

Dirty hands

Godwill, my current next door neighbour, came along on monday this week to join in praying for people in the Healing on the Streets ministry. He said it was a really humbling experience, he expanded the next day as we chatted over the washing up. He was saying that he is learning that God chooses to partner with us and involve us in His work even though we are so sinful. When we lay our hands on people and pray for them, stuff really is happening, God is healing people. In Godwill's words, 'It's so humbling that God would use these dirty hands to heal people.'

Monday, 31 May 2010

Grasshoppers can go home

I really dislike grasshoppers. They are flippin everywhere. In my room scraping their noisy little knees all night right by my ear, in the the tank when I reach in for some water, all over the shower room just waiting to jump on me. The staff were so enjoying my fear of grasshoppers at the project today, putting them on my shirt. Apparently, they are delicacy where Godwill comes from. I'm all for eating them, anything that involves killing them is fine by me.


On the other hand I have developed a new found appreciation for flushing toilets. Imagine, you just pull a little lever, or press a button or even just wave your hand in its general direction like a wizard and everything is flushed away as if nothing ever happened. So simple. So wonderful. I love them. And I love shopping centres that provide this service free of charge.

I have been in a bit of a whingy mood the last couple of days but it has actually been a really good weekend. I have been watching some DVDs with various people called More Than Conquerers, made by Simon Guillebaud whose books I recommend. We used them for our youth group meeting on sunday and had an epic chat about what following Jesus is about and how it is different from following a religion. Also on friday we had another devotion at home about seeking God's presence and what stuff happens in God's presence.

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Fort Jesus

It has been nearly two weeks since I moved to the edge of Kibera, nearly halfway through the month and its going too fast! I'm learning so much about everyday life in Kibera that until this point I had not realised. Things like how much more time and effort everyday chores take; if you want a warm shower you have to heat the water first, same for washing dishes. Without a fridge to keep food and milk cold you have to go to the market daily. I've realised that you must share your house with rats and mice whether you like it or not and that most people are up and getting on with their day (noisily) by 5:30am.


I'm also experiencing the way people share their things. Phone chargers, water heaters, buckets and brooms, food, sweets, toys, stuff is always circulating round. I say 'experiencing' because half my stuff is now also in circulation and I've borrowed things from I think all of my neighbours now!

I'm really enjoying thinking about what I have in a more communal way, I've not bought food for one the whole time I've been there, even if I just want a banana, I get a few and share them with the kids. And likewise when the kids come home from school with some popcorn, I get a share.

I should say that where I'm staying is not in Kibera proper, I'm in an estate called Fort Jesus which runs next to Kibera but most outsiders would consider it part of the slum. So my house is not mud and iron sheeting, its concrete with windows. And my neighbours are doing well compared to people from deep in the slum. The kids around my house are much better off than those who come to Turning Point.

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Tiny mighty infants

Just had to share the fun I had last night. I went back home after work and was trying to write in my journal. The kids who live around decided to come and practice roly polys on top of me though so I had to give up. They were playing for a while then they decided to start singing and thus began a spontaneous worship session. Wireless (9) and Whitney (8), led the rest of us: Me, Tracey (4) and Jasmine (really small?!) in singing and dancing and jumping around.

Jasmine was so excited she peed on my carpet!

I've learnt from Jo and Jon about Psalm 8:2 which says 'With praises from children and from tiny infants, you have built a fortress. It makes your enemies silent, and all who turn against you are left speechless.' The songs that kids sing to praise God are powerful! I'm only just getting it.



Friday, 14 May 2010

God is in my house

Just a quick update on the first couple of nights in Kibera. Ashley and I moved over on wednesday and spent the first night cooking Pilau for our new neighbours. The kids particularly were excited to have us around and explore our room, but the parents also are happy that we are coming to stay, although they would like it to be more than a month apparently! It is important to note that I have a 9 year old neighbour called Wireless. Yes actually.

So the first night was all about Pilau and speed scrabble with the neighbours and then not a lot of sleep as we slept in strange beds surrounded by new noises. Before bed we prayed over the room, asked God what specifics we should pray about and what things we needed to repent of on behalf of previous residents. Though we didn't sleep much, I felt quite at peace and not scared which is fairly huge!

Last night Ashley led some devotions for us on why we work with kids and what we can learn from them and we spent some time worshipping and praying together with Godwill and Dishon (my next door neighbours) and Moses, which was a really God soaked time.

I'm blown away by God's perfect timing having Ashley around at this time to share the first couple of days with me. She left of a jet plane this morning but she has been a huge blessing to loads of us and will be so missed!  I'm also pretty excited about some of the pictures God has given those praying for us like of whole armies of angels on guard around our house and compound - not just one or two - whole flippin armies! And light exploding out of the room as we were worshiping and praying last night. Light that was unstoppable and exposed the darkness around. Oisky its pretty exciting! Please keep praying especially for my first couple of nights on my own.

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Moving house

I have not blogged for a while as I spent some time at home and on holiday in India but now I'm back in Kenya and ready to take the next step on the road of whatever the heck God is up to with me.


Before I first moved to Kenya, as I prayed, read the bible and books by people who have been obedient to Jesus' sometimes crazy leading, I was pretty challenged by the idea of living actually in Kibera rather than just visiting each day for work. But at the time it was decided, quite rightly, that it wasn't a very wise idea as I had no clue about Kenyan culture and language etc.

The challenge has not gone away and I keep finding more and more reasons why it would be awesome to live amongst the community that God has made me to love. Over christmas paricularly I spent some time seeking God and got really excited about the idea of staying in Kibera, I had dreams of playing worship music really loud and jumping around praising God together with my friends in Kibera.

So I started to explore the idea with Jo and Jon, I had to get permission from the Trustees and they asked for the Kenyan staff's thoughts on it. Also over christmas a friend in Kibera said I should come and stay for a while, pretty sure he was joking, but now I'm moving in to the room next door to him this afternoon.

I'm not totally sure why I am going, its a bit of an experiment just to see what its like and where it could lead. A verse that communicates a bit of why is I Thessaloneans 2:8 it says 'we loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.'

I want to share more of my life with people in Kibera, to have more opportunities to build friendships, to chat and pray and worship together. I want to try to step out of my mzungu status and understand more of what life is like. I want to be vulnerable and to need people's help rather than always the person whose opinion is listened to because they are seen to have all the money!

I have plenty of reasons that I want to go but I'm still praying about what God wants this time to look like, what is significant and such. A song I keep listening to says 'Our God saves, there is hope in His name, mourning turns to songs of praise, our God saves.' I have a sense that worshipping God during this time will be important and significant. But I don't really know, I'm just fumbling my way along, so please pray! And pray for joy because the joy of the Lord is my strength (and my favourite fruit of spirit). This is a fairly big challenge and I'm really scared but I know that God is so faithful and I've already seen Him going before me.

Thank you so much for praying, its so so good to know I'm not on my own but there are other people standing with me in prayer. I cannot wait to share with you the stories of what God does!

Thursday, 4 March 2010

a little minute

Its been a while. A Kenyan would tell me – umepotea - you have been lost.

Just thought I'd share about a little minute I had the other day with a lady who hates me, well she only hates me sometimes, it depends on what level of drunk she is.

I struggle a bit with this lady because I know her daughter and the way she treats her, but I ended up sitting on the floor with her at Turning Point's birthday party the other day and it was one of those moments where it felt like God was there in His 'I'm doing something that you don't understand' sort of way.

As we sat around some of the little kids came over to play some clapping games and the lady started laughing at our songs so we started to teach her some. That was it really, nothing very exciting happened but it was just an awesome moment to just hang out and have fun with this lady, to include her, to respect her and have an honest moment of appreciating each other's company.

This lady can do bad things when she is drunk but surely she only spends most days wasted because life hurts so much. God's answer is love and community.

As we celebrated 7 years since TP started it was awesome to see this community of amazing people that has grown in that time. Staff who are so devoted, kids brimming over with confidence and potential and parents who work together to build a future for their kids. I'm excited that this lady is now part of the Turning Point community and I'm praying that she will experience some of God's love and His costly grace through that community.

Thursday, 28 January 2010

Mo Faya!

At the end of last year I went to see a musical called Mo Faya written by Eric Wainaina, the synopsneeze is as follows:

DJ Lwanda’s voice rings out daily on local radio, leading and inspiring the Nairobi community of Kwa Maji. But Anna Mali, an avaricious real estate diva, craves the land beneath their slum. She seduces the fiery young DJ away with a job at a top nationwide station, and organizes a violent campaign to terrorize the people of Kwa Maji. When the government and media turn a blind eye to the decapitated bodies in the streets, DJ Lwanda must return home to expose the truth. But at what cost?
The tag line is 'they call it a slum, we call it home'. It was awesome! The music was so good, lots of Kenyan styles cleverly done. My favourite musical bit was when they used the singers voices as matatu horns while the others sang over the top. Tidy. There are loads of fun characters and heroes and villains that are scarily true to life if a little simplified.

The dialogue is full of cutting remarks, mocking and exposing various different groups of people and I guess the system at large. Like this woman Anna Mali, the main villain, runs an NGO which they say stands for New Growth Opportunity. In fact there is a whole song where they talk about development lingo and give every phrase a new meaning – UEA lecturers would love it. There was the usual blaming the government and rubbishing politicians but I enjoyed the few rude comments about Christians and do-gooders too.

Basically, in Kenya there is hectic poverty and there are lots of people working to change that but the systems and organisations working to do that are infested with people with bad motives, in the business of trying to empower and provide for the marginalised and impoverished there are opportunities to sneak a little bit of that power and that money for yourself and there are plenty of people doing that including 'Christians'. I think some people like to suck up to do-gooders because they want something, so it was nice to hear this play reflecting the true feelings of some people.

Monday, 4 January 2010

Christmas thinking

Its a little late but apparently some celebrate Christmas at the end of the 12 days so here are some Christmas related thoughts (quickly before we get to the 12 drummers drumming) from Viv Grigg whose book I have been enjoying...

'Two thousand years ago a seed fell from the sower's hand from heaven to earth. The God of eternity now inhabited humanity in the cry of a child, in the frame of a manger, in the tramp of sandaled feet.

But the symphony the angels sang at Jesus' birth was tinged by the melancholy of poverty. In coming from heaven to earth, the seed did not remain at the surface among the unrealities of the rich and haughty. He buried himself in the depths of humanity. And those depths have weighed down the labouring poor for thousands of years.

The prophet Isaiah declared that God has two homes: “For thus says the high and lofty One who inhabits eternity, whose name is holy: I dwell in the high and lofty place, and also with him who is of a contrite and humble-spirit” (Isaiah 57:15)

Two homes, two addresses: eternity and poverty.'